so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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