She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
