He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
my liver is dry heaving
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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