Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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