Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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