I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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