just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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