She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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