Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
