Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Text me some of your sweat
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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