He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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