Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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