i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
