i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
