Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
