thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize