Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
