He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
