u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
