Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize