she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I love you. Go after that dick
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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