i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
