I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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