i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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