What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
