More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
