Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
