So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
