I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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