i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
