I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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