Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
