I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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