The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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