just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea