my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt