He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved