You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
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Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
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She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"