Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?

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  (814): Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low? http://tfl.nu/5hhv
  Replies (29) Good night (841) Bad night (3963)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.

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  (303): he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie. http://tfl.nu/hge8
  Replies (31) Good night (1951) Bad night (7032)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"

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  (614): Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge" http://tfl.nu/439j
  Replies (20) Good night (3844) Bad night (4441)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.

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  (224): Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little. http://tfl.nu/kc37
  Replies (16) Good night (1731) Bad night (2666)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs

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  (307): i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs http://tfl.nu/99qm
  Replies (9) Good night (3304) Bad night (834)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.

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  (203): He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted. http://tfl.nu/pbp0
  Replies (10) Good night (2189) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta

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  (347): Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta http://tfl.nu/zwtd
  Replies (6) Good night (1171) Bad night (459)
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  (530): View more from California

  Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?

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  (530): Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning? http://tfl.nu/vtt9
  Replies (3) Good night (439) Bad night (1237)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.

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  (570): Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan. http://tfl.nu/2zix
  Replies (4) Good night (1009) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"

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  (319): That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion" http://tfl.nu/w9if
  Replies (12) Good night (2350) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options

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  (303): We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options http://tfl.nu/lflv
  Replies (12) Good night (1841) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.

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  (217): Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill. http://tfl.nu/rrda
  Replies (1) Good night (319) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"

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  (+44): Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration" http://tfl.nu/5fdi
  Replies (3) Good night (287) Bad night (181)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.

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  (519): It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms. http://tfl.nu/hfjv
  Replies (0) Good night (680) Bad night (183)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp

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  (860): It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp http://tfl.nu/5iy1
  Replies (3) Good night (199) Bad night (290)

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