i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.