Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
someone owes me an orgasm
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
