recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
