I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
