I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
