U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
bring money and cleavage
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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