is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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