So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You ate ashes out of my bong
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
