U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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