so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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