Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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