im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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