Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
