She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
