I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
