So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
