does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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