so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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