dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Pants 0. Shit 1.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
