Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
