he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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