Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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