Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
