he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I need to sanitize my soul.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
