i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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