let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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