No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
