Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
