I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
