We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize