He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
